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Showing posts with the label jokes

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants

Why do golfers  wear two pairs of  pants?
In case they get a  hole in one!

What do you call a magician on a plane

What do you call a  magician on a  plane? 
A flying sorcerer!

What is the longest word in the dictionary

What is the  longest word in the  dictionary?
Smiles because  there is a mile  between each s!

What is easy to get into but hard to get out of

What is easy to  get into but hard  to get out of?
Trouble.

Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs

Why does a milking  stool have only 3  legs?
Because the cow  has the utter. 

What is a stamp going to say to an envelop?

What did the  stamp say to the  envelope?
Stick with me and  we will go places!

What did the triangle say to the circle

What did the  triangle say to the  circle?
You are pointless!

What kind of a driver never gets a parking ticket

What kind of a  driver never gets a  parking ticket?
A screw driver.

Did you hear about the calendar thief

Did you hear about  the calendar thief?
He got 12 months  and they say his  days are  numbered.

What goes up when the rain comes down

What goes up when  the rain comes  down?
An umbrella!

What did one raindrop say to the other

What did one  raindrop say to the  other?
Two is company,  three is a cloud.

What do you call a funny mountain

What do you call a 
funny mountain?
Hill-arious.


Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum

Did you hear about  the astronaut who  stepped on chewing  gum?
He got stuck in  Orbit.

What streets do ghosts haunt

What streets do  ghosts haunt?
Dead ends!

What did the penny say to the other penny

What did the  penny say to the  other penny.?
We make perfect  cents. 

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall

What did the fish  say when he swam  into the wall. 
Dam!

What did the grape do when it got stepped on

What did the  grape do when it  got stepped on. 
It let out a little  wine! 

What runs but can not walk

What runs but can  not walk. 
The faucet!


What do you call an alligator in a vest

What do you call an alligator  in a vest?
An investigator!

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court.